Your child is less likely to be fearful if the shows you watch are not frightening. Try not to give in. Separation anxiety disorder is NOT a normal stage of development, but a serious emotional problem characterized by extreme distress when a child is away from the primary caregiver. However, since normal separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder share many of the same symptoms, it can be confusing to try to figure out if your child just needs time and understanding—or has a more serious problem.
Children with separation anxiety disorder may become agitated at just the thought of being away from mom or dad, and may complain of sickness to avoid playing with friends or attending school.
When symptoms are extreme enough, these anxieties can add up to a disorder. But no matter how fretful your child becomes when parted from you, separation anxiety disorder is treatable. There are plenty of things you can do to make your child feel safer and ease the anxiety of separation. Kids with separation anxiety disorder feel constantly worried or fearful about separation. Many kids are overwhelmed with symptoms such as:. Fear that something terrible will happen to a loved one.
For example, the child may constantly worry about a parent becoming sick or getting hurt. Worry that an unpredicted event will lead to permanent separation. Your child may fear that once separated from you, something will happen to maintain the separation. For example, they may worry about being kidnapped or getting lost. Refusal to go to school. A child with separation anxiety disorder may have an unreasonable fear of school, and will do almost anything to stay home.
Reluctance to go to sleep. Separation anxiety disorder can make children insomniacs , either because of the fear of being alone or due to nightmares about separation. Physical sickness like a headache or stomach pain. At the time of separation, or before, children with separation anxiety problems often complain they feel ill. Clinging to the caregiver. Your child may shadow you around the house or cling to your arm or leg if you attempt to step out.
Separation anxiety disorder occurs because a child feels unsafe in some way. Change in environment. Changes in surroundings, such as a new house, school, or day care situation, can trigger separation anxiety disorder. Stressful situations like switching schools, divorce, or the loss of a loved one—including a pet—can trigger separation anxiety problems.
Insecure attachment. The attachment bond is the emotional connection formed between an infant and their primary caretaker. While a secure attachment bond ensures that your child will feel secure, understood and calm enough for optimal development, an insecure attachment bond can contribute to childhood problems such as separation anxiety.
An overprotective parent. In some cases, separation anxiety disorder may be the manifestation of your own stress or anxiety. Although these two conditions can share symptoms, they are treated differently. By understanding the effects of traumatic stress on children , you can help your child benefit from the most fitting treatment. Rather than trying to avoid separation whenever possible, you can better help your child combat separation anxiety disorder by taking steps to make them feel safer.
Providing a sympathetic environment at home can make your child feel more comfortable. Educate yourself about separation anxiety disorder. If you learn about how your child experiences this disorder, you can more easily sympathize with their struggles. For a child who might already feel isolated by their disorder, the experience of being listened to can have a powerful healing effect. Talk about the issue. Anticipate separation difficulty.
Be ready for transition points that can cause anxiety for your child, such as going to school or meeting with friends to play. If your child separates from one parent more easily than the other, have that parent handle the drop off. Keep calm during separation. If your child sees that you can stay cool, they are more likely to be calm, too. Encourage your child to participate in healthy social and physical activities. Use the smallest of accomplishments—going to bed without a fuss, a good report from school—as reason to give your child positive reinforcement.
Provide a consistent pattern for the day. Routines provide children with a sense of security and help to eliminate their fear of the unknown. Try to be consistent with mealtimes, bedtimes and the like. Set limits. Let your child know that although you understand their feelings, there are rules in your household that need to be followed. Menu Home Why Choose Us?
Kids are hard work! Hand over to a teacher, who will hopefully distract your child and get them engaged in a fun activity. At my day care centre the main teacher is quick to take my son outside see the guinea pigs. Have a transition toy for your child. It helps them to settle.
Project confidence. Try to remain calm and relaxed. If you are feeling anxious it is important to not show this to your child. Have faith in the staff. They deal with kids all day everyday and they know what to do. They will distract and soothe your child if they are initially upset. Try and keep to the same routine for the first few weeks. More about Separation Anxiety Most research suggests that separation anxiety increases until a child is about 15 months old and peaks at around 18 months my son is 16 months!
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It can pop up again during times of stress, illness or changes like moving house or a new routine. You may find that parents of the children in your care are also experiencing what appears to be anxiety around leaving their children.
Take a look here where we have previously looked at separation anxiety in parents whose children are in child care or kindergarten. At Selmar, our trainers are experience in teaching new learners and current educators who are upskilling how to build resilience in children. So if you are working in childcare jobs it is likely that you will come across varying degrees of separation anxiety in children as young as babies through to primary school age.
Easing separation anxiety in children 1. Practice your goodbyes An extension on the previous tip, doing a rehearsal can be a clever way of helping children practice for the real drop off. Create a routine Ideally on the days when children are coming to child care or kindergarten, there will be a sense of familiarity that begins first thing in the morning.
Parents should always say goodbye It can be distressing for parents to see their children upset and, in some instances, they may try to sneak out while the child is distracted.
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